Search for Sensei and Cilla!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 5
[NPC] Drossel:Naru! There you are!
[NPC] Drossel:You wouldn't happen know where I could find the Zoo manager, would you? I'd like to file a complaint. Why am I a cow?!
[NPC] Milan:Maybe it's because you got big boobs?
[NPC] Milan:What?! Some people have big boobs? So what? That wizard girl has some big ones too. Nothing wrong with that!
[NPC] Zarath:Dude just stop. You're digging yourself deeper.
[NPC] Milan:Well it's better than a bunch of other things you could have turned into! At least you're not... whatever the hell this is... And why the hell do you get turned into a cat when I'm stuck as... some kind of Zymalian Asskitten?!
[NPC] Bugsy II:I'll be honest with you all, the polymorph isn't 100% accurate. The zoo kept getting complaints that people were turning into bugs and such and found it insulting. Like... two years ago we had one of those upper class rich ladies that spent years chipping away at the glass ceiling of the business world come in, hoping to become a wolf or one of the more popular, furry creatures. She got turned into a Rhinocerous Bettle, which isn't a terrible thing to turn into! For their size they're really freaking strong! And it makes sense that she'd become an underdog sort of creature! But oh no to her it was just an ugly bug and demanded we fix the algorithm. That's why most of the guests are turned into foxes or something cute.
[NPC] Zarath:Because if they don't they'll complain and the zoo will lose visitors.
[NPC] Bugsy II:Exactly.
[NPC] Bugsy II:That too.
[NPC] Milan:How come Drossel doesn't have an udder?
[NPC] Milan:Well you don't!
[NPC] Bugsy II:Oh yeah, people complained about that too. We thought no one would mentally equate animal nips with the human concept of nudity, but nope can't have that either. Could lead to sexual harassment.
[NPC] Zarath:And look at how good a job it's doing so far.
[NPC] Milan:Why not just boost security? Put up guards to keep people from doing shit like this?
[NPC] Bugsy II:It's 100 times easier just to alter the polymorph algorithm.
[NPC] Drossel:No Naru. I haven't.
[NPC] Drossel:Normally? Naru I don't think you know Mizuki-san as well as you think you do.
[NPC] Milan:Can confirm.
Our orders were to meet up in front of the zoo and formulate a plan together. Apparently "together" doesn't include her.
[NPC] Drossel:I would have caught up to her sooner, but the entrance door got stuck and I spent 30 minutes just trying to push it open. I think this zoo did something to my strength boost passive. I could have easily pushed that door open if it was working correctly.
[NPC] Bugsy II:That should not have happened. I'll speak with Mr. Lion about that later. Sorry for the trouble we caused.
[NPC] Drossel:I guess you have a point. I just hate being useless is all.
[NPC] Milan:Well off the top of my head I can name two assets-
Naru kicks Milan in the face.
[NPC] Milan:OW! NOT THAT!!! She's one of the actually decent moderators on our message board and the only member of our team who isn't freaking crazy!!!
[NPC] Drossel:Thanks Milan. That means a lot.
You should keep searching. I'll head back and guard the entrance.
Search for Sensei and Cilla!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 7
Naru continues her search until she comes across a white barn-owl perched on a tree branch.
[NPC] Jim:Matsuri-san!... Look up here!
[NPC] Jim:It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure! You will encounter many hardships ahead. That is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even during the toughest times! Go straight this way and you will see Tundra Castle. You will meet a princess there... If you are lost and don't know which way to go, look at the Map. The areas you can explore will be shown on the map. You will also see a flashing dot showing your current location.
[NPC] Milan:Yeah. We figured that out already.
[NPC] Jim:Hm? Oh no I turned myself into an owl before I came in here.
[NPC] Jim:Who knows? Haha! Always wanted to say that.
Well okay, to be perfectly honest, if I'm going to be an animal anyway I might as well get to pick and choose, right? This zoo can tell you a lot about a person from what animal they turn into. In a way this place makes you an open book as well as an animal.
[NPC] Jim:Oh right! You've never met Goldie, have you? She's a Lycanthrope, so the zoo doesn't affect her either since Lycan's are already born with the polymorph ability.
[NPC] Jim:Well you can't turn an animal into an animal, now can you? If you're already afflicted with polymorph or have some other shape changing spell cast on you the zoo won't affect you. Simple as that.
[NPC] Jim:Goldie could probably sniff her out, but Chihiro told us not to follow her in here.
...You won't tell her we're here, will you?
[NPC] Jim:That I could! Actually, last I saw her she was searching the Arctic region. You might bump into each other if you head in that direction.
Search for Sensei and Cilla!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 17
Naru enters the Arctic region of the zoo. The area is a perfect recreation of a snowy plain if the air conditioning going on full blast wasn't an indicator. All of Cilla's snow golems have moved here to survive the changing seasons outside. Cilla might be close by as well!
Thanks to her new fur coat, Naru and the party can fight off the freezing cold air for a little while, but eventually they all take shelter in a nearby cave...
...where they find a penguin sitting by a campfire and a small bat hanging from the ceiling.
[NPC] Amy:Who dares trespass on my frozen domain?!
[NPC] Marvin:Careful around the fire. It took me forever to light it.
[NPC] Marvin:I was unconscious a moment ago, so if anyone did come by I missed them.
[NPC] Amy:Now that you mention it, I did see someone pass by here a little while ago. They were heading for the Tundra region.
[NPC] Milan:BUT WE JUST CAME FROM THERE! HOW THE HELL DID WE MISS HER?!
[NPC] Amy:Sorry. I had to remove my contacts before coming in here, so I'm legally blind right now. I can't even tell what most of you are from far away.
[NPC] Amy:I can smell pretty good tho! And all four of you smell really good too!
[NPC] Amy:Case in point. I have really bad eyesight right now so I can't help you guys.
[NPC] Zarath:You two are experts on magic, aren't you? I've got a question. If this zoo uses magic to polymorph the guests, how come the city's magic inhibitors don't block the zoo's magic?
[NPC] Amy:That's because Polymorph isn't a spell! It's a status ailment!
[NPC] Amy:Magic IS semantics! For example, Alchemy is just magic that the normals refuse to call magic! It's a conspiracy I tell you! They don't allow magic in the US and Pantheria, but they'll allow Alchemy to be used in hospitals! It's discrimination! My ancestors were made a pariah because they refused to give up magic, and they have the audacity to market it under a different name in this modern age like nothing ever happened! How dare they!
[NPC] Zarath:Sensei says Alchemy is restricted within the circles you draw and relies more on chemistry and biology than regular magic.
[NPC] Bugsy II:There's probably some clever workaround programmed into the control tower for the specific use of polymorph the zoo uses. We can ask Mr. Lion before we leave.
[NPC] Amy:There is a difference! You don't need magic to poison yourself! Just eat some expired food!
[NPC] Zarath:Guys, we're wasting time arguing about this. We can find out how the stupid zoo works another day. Right now we need to find Mizuki sensei so we can get back to Soup-con.
[NPC] Amy:Wait wait! Do you mean the lady with blonde hair and glasses?! I didn't see her, but I definitely heard her come by here! She was singing in some language I'd never heard before, but it was definitely her voice!
[NPC] Amy:She's got a really pretty singing voice. I'll never forget it! That was the person headed for the Tundra region!
[NPC] Milan:FAN-****ING-TASTIC! I GUESS WE'LL JUST BACKTRACK THE WAY WE CAME THEN! WHAT A WASTE OF ****ING TIME
[NPC] Zarath:For once dude, I have to agree...
Search for Sensei and Cilla!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 20
[NPC] Michi:Seriously?! Why didn't you just come to me?!...
Wh- N-No, I wouldn't-
[NPC] Michi:Friend or Foe.
[NPC] Michi:...So you are. Thank goodness.
Well, I found Cilla. We can go now.
[NPC] Milan:You know we wouldn't be here if you just left the park yourself.
[NPC] Priscilla:HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THIS WASN'T PERMANENT?!
ALSO! I LOST MY CLOTHES COMING IN HERE! I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE NAKED, MILAN!
[NPC] Michi:Easy kiddos. Nobody's hurt. Everything turned out okay in the end, so let's get out of here before anyone shows up. You didn't bump into anyone else on your way in here, did you? Specifically, anyone who has no business with guild affairs?
[NPC] Asami:Hi Mi-chan!!!
[NPC] Michi:...Oh. Oh good you brought your mother with you. That's- That's what I need right now. More Asami.
[NPC] Asami:Mi-chan! Mi-chan! Guess what!!!
What is it Asami.
[NPC] Michi:I'm not clicking that, due to your reputation to link people to the Godzilla virus.
Anyone see North? He was suppose to help look.
[NPC] Milan:He probably though it wasn't worth the trouble and went back to his room.
[NPC] Zarath:North wouldn't do that. He knows what's at stake here.
The party splits up to look for North. Naru, Zarath, and Michi go back through the Arctic region while Asami, Milan, and Travis return to the forest.
Naru has completed the Little City Zoo Rescue minigame. Because she rolled a 20, Naru is awarded a bonus round!
North has gone missing as well, and it's up to Naru and friends to find him! Naru will earn double the amount of zenny she's already won, plus and extra special super secret treasure if she can find North by rolling an 18, 19, or 20 in her remaining turns. Failing to roll these numbers will not cost Naru anything, and she can collect her treasure when she leaves the zoo.
Search for North!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 1
Returning to the arctic area, Naru and her party are ambushed by another rabbit... cat... cat-rabbit... Cabbit? No, there's a gem on her head. A Carbuncle maybe? Anyway, she's not happy to see them.
[NPC] Ai:Well? Did you find your friend?
[NPC] Ai:You could have gotten your future self to do it for you.
[NPC] Ai:We missed the fire show. You know that, right?
[NPC] Ai:Yeah well- I know that! I was more concerned about you because it's still part of your day that you're missing out on! You agree, right Zarath?
[NPC] Zarath:Don't make me pick a side.
You don't know how important it was for Naru to be here.
[NPC] Ai:Then explain.
[NPC] Michi:Guild business. It's classified.
[NPC] Ai:You're not even going to tell me?!
[NPC] Ai:Then what the hell is stopping you?
[NPC] Priscilla:Can we just go back to the mansion and not talk about this?! Just forget everything that happened here!
[NPC] Ai:Whatever. It doesn't even matter. We can catch the fire show later. You still interested?
[NPC] Ai:No. It's fine. We'll go back as soon as we leave the zoo. I already saw our future selves there before I left. The timeline outside the park isn't retroactive, so we'll almost certainly not miss it.
[NPC] Ai:It's your time you're spending. Up to you.
Search for North!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 5
Naru and her group bump into another animal.
[NPC] Michi:......What's a GorillaChickenDuck doing in here?
[NPC] Michi:omg. The poor thing.
[NPC] Michi:Naru I think that's just a regular duck.
[NPC] GorillaChickenDuck:I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. WHEN WORD GOT OUT THAT THE GOOD STAFF AT ANI CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO AVOID JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS AND INFIGHTING WITH ONE ANOTHER I DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR SOME ZIMMER-BRAND FAMILY COUNSELING, WHERE I WILL FORCEFULLY MEND THE TEAM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY GARGANTUAN TUBE OF GELATINOUS GORILLA GLUE. AFTER FIRMLY LOCKING THEM ALL IN A DIM-LIT ROOM THAT MADE THE ZIMMER-STAINS ON THE WALLS GLOW WITH AN EERIE INCANDESCENCE, I PROCEEDED TO EMIT MY MALEVOLENT MAN MUSK TO INTOXICATE THE TEMPERAMENTAL TEENAGERS INTO A HIGH FOR MY HEAVENLY HANDLEBAR. THEY WERE CRAVING MY CORKSCREW LIKE THE KIDDOS CRAVE MINECRAFT. ONE BY ONE I MADE THEM LICK THE MAYO STAINS ON THE FLOOR WHILE MY CREAM-CRAMMER GOT COMFORTABLE INSIDE THEIR CROTCH-CUSHION, EXCAVATING THEIR CHOCOLATE CAVITIES AND CONVERTING THEIR SEWER SYSTEMS INTO A MEN'S WAREHOUSE WATER PARK WITH MY BELLOWING BLOW HOLE. WHILE THE MAJORITY OF THEM WERE LEFT PROSTRATE AND GAPING AFTER MY POWERFUL PENILE PECKING, I PICKED UP THEIR ADMIN LEO BY THE TAIL AND PROCEEDED TO PUMP MY WOMANIZING CATERPILLAR INTO HIS WAILING CAVERNS AND GORILLACHICKEN**** HIM INTO OBLIVION. BEFORE LONG HIS ENTIRE BODY EXPANDED TO THE DIMENSIONS OF MY MANHANDLING MEMBER LIKE A HUMAN-SHAPED SOCK PUPPET AS I REVERSE-GUZZLE MY FORNICATION FOAM OUT THE OTHER END LIKE HE CONTRACTED RABIES. WHEN HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING, HIS USER-BASE ISN'T GOING TO BE THE ONLY THING THAT'S SORE. I GUARANTEE IT.
Naru summons a dozen of her Legendary Spears to surround her. She's moments away from turning GorillaChickenDuck into GorillaChickenShishkebab.
[NPC] Michi:Naru, come on. We're leaving.
[NPC] Michi:No. Ignore it. Don't make eye contact.
Search for North!
[NPC] Naru rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 14
Naru searches the last remaining area and is unable to find North.
[NPC] Ai:I doubt it. The park averages everyone's level out. If North turned into a bug he'd still be as strong as all of us are right now.
[NPC] Zarath:Hey, I've been noticing these pipes going everywhere. What do you think they're for?
[NPC] Ai:Didn't Travis tell you? Those are the salt water and fresh water pipes. The changing rooms at the entrance get flooded with either salt water or fresh water in case you get turned into an aquatic animal.
[NPC] Michi:You think North got turned into a fish?
Michi finds a Pink Sea Star crawling along the edge of the beach.
[NPC] North Korea:......
[NPC] Michi:Found him.
Naru is awarded a Loot Chest for completing the Little City Zoo Rescue minigame!
Naru gained 5000 zenny
Everyone meets back at the leftmost entrance. Asami decided to remain in the zoo for a bit longer. Given her enthusiasm earlier she's probably still having fun as a fox. Jim, Goldie, Amy, and Marvin have also not returned yet.
[NPC] Bugsy II:Come on, don't be mad at them. I'm the one that told them about the zoo in the first place. I just assumed everyone knew after reading the brochure.
[NPC] Michi:Did the brochure even mention anything about the zoo?
[NPC] North Korea:I...... might have skimmed it.
[NPC] Priscilla:There were brochures?
[NPC] Bugsy II:Hey heads up everybody. Grim just messaged me. His team of Reapers just set up a website for Wayback Con. It's got an event guide, plus maps of the park and mansion. We just gotta scan the...
What's a QR Code?
[NPC] Bugsy II:Whoa heads up again. Grim just sent me another message.
"Ai has informed me a QR Code won't work. Instead, I've emailed everyone in the park a link to the convention website. Please don't lose it. (I'd end this email with a smiley face but I don't know how)"
[NPC] Bugsy II:......Yikes, who the heck designed this? It kinda hurts my eyes a little.
The website has been retroactively updated. Travis' paradox bandit grows a second clock face due to history being rewritten.
[NPC] x50i:I have received word that a guest was trapped in this facility and in need of rescue. As per my orders, I am here to keep any and all guests away from any possible harm.
I want to melee attack the android. Element charge my rapier with lightning and hit it as hard as I can.
[NPC] Michi rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 12
Michi draws her blade and aims the end of her sword at the android's optics, but because Michi is distracted her aim is slightly off. She nicks the android's cheek, but only manages to leave a scratch. The android doesn't flinch.
[NPC] x50i:You are experiencing heightened levels of stress. For the safety of the other guests I must insist on participating in recreational activities for the evening. I will search the event schedule for something that is appropriate for stress relief.
[NPC] Ai:You mind telling me what the heck that was about?!
[NPC] Ai:He did not startle you.
[NPC] Ai:Yeah, but... the android?! They're suppose to defend the park guests! They wouldn't harm anyone! You wouldn't do that to another guest, would you?!
HEY! Answer me!
Priscilla gets closer to Michi, almost instinctively.
[NPC] Priscilla:How should I know? They all look the same to me!
[NPC] Ai:WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT?! WHAT THE HECK!?
[NPC] x50i:FUGITIVE SUBJECT HAS BEEN LOCATED! SIGNALING NEARBY UNITS TO ASSIST IN THE CAPTURE OF FUGITIVE SUBJECT!
[NPC] x50i:DO NOT BE ALARMED. CONVERSION IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOUR SAFETY. ANDROIDS FEEL NO PAIN. TO ENSURE YOUR SAFETY ALL PARK GUESTS MUST BE UPGRADED. YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO THE NEAREST LAB TO BE CONVERTED. COMPLIANCE IS MANDATORY.
[NPC] Zarath:WAIT, MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY?!
The android is aggroed towards Priscilla.
KIL LIT KILL IT KIL LIT KILLIT DEAD EAD DEAD DIEDIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!
[NPC] Priscilla rolled 1 20-sided dice. Results: 1
Priscilla immediately draws her mage pistols and fires in a panic.
The android uses a preemptive rocket punch. The fist goes flying at Priscilla's Mage Pistols, knocking the gun from her hand. A beam of magical energy fires from the gun, accidentally hitting Michi. Michi is now bleeding.
[NPC] Michi:WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
The rocket hand grabs onto the now disarmed Priscilla, and by some kind of force is pulled back to its owner, and Priscilla along with it. The android lifts Priscilla up in the air effortlessly with a single arm and throws her over its shoulder.